Feb 20.

It's always been you...

Sitting here on my desk but my thoughts are miles away....to wherever you are right now.

I want to touch your face,
I want to look into your eyes behind your lenses,
I want to see you shy away from my stare (I can see your soul you know).
I want to tickle you,
I want to hear you laugh and cackle till you tear up.
It's always been you...

I had doubts, I wasn't sure for a while what your motives were, Still not sure...

Some-days it felt like you were not trying to make this work, still feels so...
You were a complete mystery to me and yet it felt right, It still does...
It's always been you...

I talk to God about you all the time,
It's hard sometimes, I want so much more than we are.
I keep telling myself if this is right, it wouldn't go away,
I keep telling myself it would get better in-spite of our differences and baggages.
I keep telling myself we would work through everything because we both know how much we mean to each-other.
It's always been you...

I miss you so much my Friend and Lover,
I wish I could cover the miles between us,
I yearn for you with everything in me...
This is a short letter to you my love,

A letter to let you know....It's always been you A... xxx

A...

It was a Thursday night out with friends,

My eyes locked with a queer gentleman,

He stared right back without flinching.

I thought it was rude with a lady on his arm.

Hours passed, systems intoxicated.

The stares became intense,

My insides felt giddy and warm.

He motioned to the door with a smile,

His lady draped on another’s arm.

The song came on and he pushed closer,

His huge palms on my hips,

We swayed to the beat.

He moved closer till I couldn’t resist.

Lips tasted like strawberry sweets.

His tenderness and compassion,

His brave and strong heart,

His Selfless and passionate soul,

He is mine to keep, mine to Love,

Been 365 days and I can’t get enough.

The Letter

Dear Delilah,

It feels like one of those dog days, today, where all our existence comes to rest halfway between our sobriety and poignant memories; like a glass of introspection with a little sprinkling of lazy.

And lately, I've learned a few new words; strong words, like patience, and faith, and wine, and friendship.

I'm trying to make room in my head for my new words, so I pick out a few old words. I pick out the best ones, the wild ones, the slightly unusual ones and I write you rambling letters in my mind.

I ask you random questions, like what the distance is from your living room to a lonely night, or if you want a daughter first; what you'd call her. I ask you questions, like, how do we thaw these conversations? Where have you left the keys that unlock you?

It's a random day and you've kind of been on my mind.

So this is my letter, dear Delilah. This is my glass of poignant introspection, poured from a vintage bottle; shall we get drunk? This is where I hide the emotion, behind the fluffy words and the LOLs.

Some days I wonder how your day went, if your friends are alright, if you still have dimples. I wanted to make this a blog post but I hear you don't like PDA.

Sincerely,

Ashiwel.

My Life's Essence....

I spoke to God today,
i told him about the unfathomable void,
the thirst for Life's essence,
profound peace of mind..

He held my face in his palms,
and whispered a psalm,
words so pure,
awe-inspiringly grand.

I started smiling,
elated and euphoric,
i sang along with him,
the moon shone all night long..

The cock crowed,
the birds chirped,
i woke from this dream,
i couldn't remember the psalm..

A sense of bliss overcame me,
the contentment of being alive,
with hands held high and knees to the ground,
i magnified HIM!
My Peace, My Treasure, My Life's Essence.

Triangle...

It was complicated,
we were worlds apart,
fights, unhappy words,
i was going to leave anyway.

So, closely i noticed another,
the almost perfect one,
my silver lining,
through the dark clouds shining.

Another who was wrong,
another i couldn't have,
my dear heart,
loved him from faraway.

I prayed the days went by,
hours, minutes, seconds,
time should've brought me,
another who could stay.

But i didn't want another,
couldn't love no other,
now i will wait forever,
till the day we'll be together.